EL Fork

To start it off... back in the day WAY BACK WAAAYY BACk.. freshman year I remember my buddy and I, lets call him EL NEGRO had a couple of drinks at a well know and respected (at least in those days) fraternity... I, being the responsible one (muahaha) tell EL NEGRO that it is time to go home... (NOT GONNA LIE I was a little under the influence and this story might be a little different than others might remember BUT HEY ITS MY BLOG) :) WE get to our dwelling, which freshman year was GRIFFITHS SECOND FLOOR (WOOHH WOOHHTT WOOHTT!!) break into our good friends room, THIS WAS THE SPOT!.. the room belonged to Mr. Swayze and Koo-lio...

We bust into the room (dont remember who was in there) but I do remember a little KOREAN GIRL in Koo-lio's bed... Both Swayze and Koo-lio look at us and realize we might had had maybe 2 or 3 drinks... BUT Wait... too prop the door open (imma start calling them S and K because spelling the name is getting really annoying) S and K used a DC fork... all of a sudden I see EL NEGRO get a smile in his face (To which I realize he has an idea.. which consist of him steppin on the fork to try to make it fly) I... being the good person realize this but before I can try to stop it EL NEGRO.. BAM... Stomps on the floor, because he had 1 toooo many martinys misses and starts to laugh... I am relieved and dont say anything but then BAMM!!! EL NEGRO tries again and this time hits the fork right on the head and sends that SHIT FLYING... (THIS point ur thinking to youself... eh nothing happens, fork must have just jumped in the air flipped a couple of times and landed again... NAWW MAN UR WRONG!) FORK went as bay area people would say “HELLA/HECKA” crazy... shit went in the air hit the wall,, Swayze hit the floor Koo-lio busted some Liu Kang shit and dodged the fork... then the fork hit the bed and almost Popped out the little KOREAN GIRLs eye out... To our surprise it did not do such a thing BUT IT ALMOST DID... then the Korean girl opened her eyes said go away and went back to sleep... because EL NEGRO almost had killed her we listened to her and left :)

all I have to say is “GOOD TIMES” hahahahah

Maldito Licor

O alcohol.... MY best friend … my worst enemy... yea I know you are ALL shocked to discover that I, Mr. Pony, drink... :( pues, the answer is SI :(. unfortunately I have fallen trapped to this amazing, awesome, fascinating, incredible, marvelous, shocking, prodigious, stunning, wonderful and unbelievable little liquid that makes Men's confidence triple and women's “good looks” quadruple hahahha (JK all women are beautiful... alcohol helps find this beauty, once again JK)

anywho... if your asking yourself “why does thou drink... the answer is … Y not!!!” something always fun seems to happen when there is this liquid involved.... (most of the time its BAD stuff, but u cant get caught up on that stuff muahahaha)

So.. because I usually drink thursdays, fridays, and saturdays...(YEA YEA I KNOW DONT LOOK AT ME THAT WAY) ive decided to write about the fun stuff that happens lol

El Video of Tomorrow

El Video of Tomorrow

Pitbull ft. Akon - Shut it Down

GOOD SONG! :)

El Video of Tomorrow

R. Kelly ft Wisin Y Yandel - Burn it Up

Dreams of Fucking a Handicapped Bitch!!!! - Bizarre in Nasty Mind

Ever had a dream of fucking a handicapped bitch?!?!!? I can honestly say that I HAVE NOT!!! :)

However, I thought this would be an appropriate tittle for this post. Muahaha!

Recently, I, DJ Pony have been suffering from crazy ass dreams. (and i assure you its does not have to do with handicap individuals) hehehe

But anywho, like i previously stated, my dreams went from running around in an open field with puurrrtttyyy ass Ponies and unicorns with amazing backgrounds of rainbows and leprecons to really twisted, dark dreams centering around death, alcohol, drugs and women..."TAN TAN TAAANNN!!!!

Last night, as i laid down to bed I said to myself (usually do it every night) "See you in the morning gorgeous", then closed my eyes and as MR. HOMER himself stated in the Iliad, "darkness filled his eyes" and i slowly entered dreamland.

As far as i can remember, the dream began at around 11pm at a bar resembling Kips. You might be saying to yourself, "DAMN Pony, you dream about drinking at a bar"... and well the answer is YES :)

As i made my way into the bar, i looked around to see if i would recognize anybody in there. Guess what, I did, YOU where there and YOU where there and YOU where there... ( i wont mention any names cuz 1) if i do YOU might be like "WHY THE HELL IS DJ PONY DREAMING ABOUT ME" and 2) if I forget to mention YOU, YOU might be like "DJ PONY IS AN ASSHOLE, HOW COME HE DOESNT INCLUDE ME IN HIS DREAM" so yea O_0 hahaha)

ANYwho... i walked to the table which included about 20 people i knew, said "hola" and sat down next to this girl. She gave me a smile and said "Ponyman, you want a drank" and i say "fo shizzle". She pours me a pint of beer and I notice she has some small little red marks (like pimples) under her eyes. Im like eh watever she still puuuurrtty. However, as i continue drinking (and sometimes talking to her) i notice that those little red marks are getting bigger and bigger and BIGGER!!!! At this point... im thinking to myself "Pony, WAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT ON HER MASKARA"... weird part was nobody in the table seemed to notice... so I act normal and continue to drink. Yet, as the beers begin to add up, i look at her and all that SHIT in her face has taken over all of her face and its even stretching her skin all the way to the floor. I FEEL MY SOUL JUMP OUT OF MY BOTAS and i run out of the bar...

BAM!!!!!! The dream then takes me back to my apartment, in the shower. Still alittle weirded out of the bar thang, I tell my self "PONY, chillax its all good" but then i notice something. Im looking down at the tub and i notice its see through. AND THE CRAZY PART IS... theres a submarine under me and I can see a women telling me to move because "SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN"... at this point im like "WAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON" so i jump out of the tub

and all of a sudden the submarine pops up from underneath the tub destroying everything... I panic and run to my roommates room to see if he heard anything... (this point you are like "MR. Pony, was thou still naked... and to be honest kids I HAVE NO IDEA... I WILL SAY YES I MEAN WHY NOT ITS MY DREAM... RIGHT!!!) :)

Once inside my roommates room I don't see anybody, so i run back to the restroom and see my landlord EDUARDO fixing the tub, he turns around and says "DONT TRIP CHOCOLATE CHIP, I GOTZ THIS"

Then GUESS WAT HAPPEND... I WOKE UP because it was 730 and i needed to go to work :(

so yea SHIT was Crazy... :)

DJ Pony's Obsticles

On Monday, January 25 I woke up at around 8:30am to get to work at my CAD job down on Shattuck and Center Street. Like a usual day in the office I walked in said hola to my boss and went to my computer station to continue work on drawings of the Doe Library.

At about noon i felt a little rumble in my tummy and though to myself "PONY Does thou need to use the restroom" and I answered "SI" so i got up, grabbed my keycard (for some reason every door needs to be opened with this) and slowly made my way to the restroom.

The restroom at work is a small maybe 15X15 room which includes a stall and a urinal. Being a Pony I had to take a SHIT thus as you would have guessed I went into the stall. I walked in checked the toilet (IDK WHY but i did... never know if it might be broken or duurrrrtttyy... you dont want to take a number 2 in a durrrttty toilet) saw that everything was fine turned around and locked to stall door.

I noticed that the lock on the door was a little loose, it would make a full turn before it would lock... yet nature had taken its course and I needed to take a seat.

(10 minutes later) I finish doing my thing... I walk to the stall door and tried to get out..

NOOOO!!!! to my surprise the damn lock was jammed and although it would turn it would not release the lock... i thought to myself "DJ PONY WAT THE HELL ARE YOU GONNA DO" ... I did not know... I was scared but most importantly... I was trapped... I felt... well i felt like a Pony trapped in a stall (muahahah).

So with my tail between my legs i did the only reasonable thing I could think of... I crawled out as fast as possible so no one would open the door as i did this.

Washed my hands in the sink looked in the mirror and said "PONY... Your good" laughed and went back to my computer station.

The only thing i could think about was of the next guy who has to use the stall and the surprised/confused look on his face when he tries hour after hour to open the door... and it never WILL!!!!

My first post!

So I have finally decided to create a blog... not sure why but I did... BAM!!!!! muahahaha :D

Now one of my favorite songs...

NORTEC COLLECTIVE (BOSTICH-FUSSIBLE)

TIJUANA SOUND MACHINE